I have a friend who has one biological and one adopted son and I found out he likes to tell people “my firstborn is six and my other child is eleven” which is hilarious.
Macbeth gets told he can only be defeated by the elder brother of a firstborn son.
[#those children are going to be able to fuck with so many prophecies and fey deals]
Actually, I know damn well Darcy never sat down and thought about marrying Lizzie. If he had, it would have been a week before he was rounding up Bingley, sitting him down, and looking him in the eye like he was about to propose high treason and going, “Jane. You still down bad for her?”
Coin toss whether Bingley would actually get to answer before Darcy turned around and flipped over a whiteboard like
and launched right into the most detailed migration pattern known to Regency England to keep the extraneous Bennets as contained as humanly possible by rotating them between various Bingley/Darcy estates. Like, we’re talking about trading them off for minor holidays a decade out kind of detailed.
“If you and Jane take them for Lady Day ten years hence, Elizabeth and I will take them for Michaelmas. We’ll all be together for Christmas and Midsummer, so we’ll divide the responsibility individually on those days.”
This would be followed by thirteen different spreadsheets projecting joint expenditures so Bingley knows what sort of financial commitment he’ll be shouldering and how to minimize it, what proportion Darcy will take care of, what the estate plans are in case Darcy predeceases anybody, when they should probably roll out various stages to keep it from affecting their respective sisters’ ability to maximize their own husband-hunting–whole nine yards.
Darcy does not know that he’ll probably be murdered when the Bingley sisters find out why he asked for their social calendars. He’d be marginally fine with that at this point, because the fucking Napoleonic War campaigns were not as meticulously planned as his roadmap to getting the other three Bennets satisfactorily married, and Darcy feels about as able as if he’d spent the last year on Elba.
It takes Bingley a few minutes to realize why this is happening, then he’s like
“You proposed to Elizabeth?! Congratulations!”
Darcy… knew there was something he was forgetting.
That man would have kicked the Collins’s door open with four binders tucked under each arm, dumped them in a pile in front of Elizabeth, and loudly announced that if they get married tomorrow he can have her entire family except for Jane extraordinary renditioned to the Scottish moors by Sunday and then been like
“Why are you yelling at me?! I promise you, it will work! You’ll never see anyone in your family except for Jane again, I swear it!” when she starts yelling at him.
sometimes when my mom gets drunk she goes into Liberated Women Mode, and one time she was real tipsy and while talking about her friend’s divorce, she very earnestly told me and my sister (both adults) that regardless of preference or relationship, she hoped we would both reach a point in our lives where we were having really good sex with really good people. and my sister said, “i do that now except the good people part” and i said, “sex is real?” and my mom didn’t love either of those answers
ur mom sounds hot is she single
my mom is in fact single, and if you are so determined then it’s not my fault when you find out why
I really hope young folks just discovering Leverage understand that in 2008 a Tesla meant basically the opposite of what it means in 2025. They were so exciting. We were so hopeful.
I was showing it to my roommate for the first time in 2023, and she was like “ooof, that aged badly”.
Tags from @axlaru
Okay here’s some more context for folks:
Yes, the Tesla Roadster Sportscar was the first Tesla car. That was the whole exciting thing about Tesla: not only were they making an electric car, they were making an electric SPORTSCAR. Meaning they were making the idea of electric cars (and by extension renewable energy in general) COOL. Cool and exclusive and something rich people would want to get in on, not something for fringe eco nerds, so that then they would eventually have the funds and support to roll out electric cars that everyone could use. That’s why Tesla was cool. That’s why the joke in the show is “well it’s an electric car” — you expect something dinky, cause other electric cars were not powerful or cool— and then he rolls up with the super cool exciting Tesla sportscar.
And while it’s fascinating that Elon took over right at this time (Edit: apparently I reblogged the wrong chain, we talked about this on a different reblog) that does not mean that that perception changed instantly. People didn’t immediately know that he was bad news, the company did not immediately go to shit. That was a very gradual thing. It’s possible the showrunners were ahead of the curve and wanted to distance themselves from it, but I always assumed the reason the car only showed up once was much simpler: They were EXPENSIVE.
first they made it mandatory to log in everywhere. create an account to download your free template Log in to access resource give us your email nowwwww. Now the humble password is being killed too. open your magic email link! type your 6 digit code that we texted you because we required your email and your phone number! we’re gonna call you and whisper a code sweetly in your ear so you can log in to your account. yes it has a password but you cant use that anymore. okay? poob is gonna call you. now poob is just gonna call you.
my father just found out about the murderbot casting and sent me like a dozen angry texts about it back to back, and his take is that for thematic reasons murderbot needs to not be a white man because it is constantly misjudged based on its appearance and assumed to have no real inner life or personhood, which is (1) very insightful, (2) not actually a take i have seen elsewhere in The Discourse so far (though i have not gone out of my way to look for The Discourse tbf), and (3) not remotely what i expected a not-very-online 60something cishet white guy not ordinarily given to literary analysis to say about it??? really caught me off-guard and now i’m also annoyed i didn’t think of it. like, i, the litcrit queer am over here going “idk i just think it’s the least interesting choice you could make” and he’s thinking about the subtextual resonances and/or ways of communicating the marginalized status of a secunit to the audience on a visceral level. goddammit.
This is a Horatio Hornblower story with a really interesting magic system and some unconventional world building. Since it was an Age of Sail setting it was the perfect excuse to use some fun materials. I used mystery paper from the local creative reuse store for the textblock and untrimmed edges for a rustic look. The cover is a bit of printed marble paper I’ve been hoarding for “something good” for 10+ years. I’m not sure why I thought the gold HTV would have enough contrast with the brown bookcloth for the spine title, but it is readable from certain angles.
Garamond for the body since it’s a historic font, and IM Fell for the titles since it looks aged, plus a cursive font I can’t recall. The margins are a bit wide since I originally planned to trim the edges, but they give it rather luxurious proportions (plenty of room for marginalia and rebinding if it was a period book). I couldn’t decide between two mock-ups for the title page, so included both - a super simple one for the regular title and over-the-top following the introduction.
I had to go to urgent care after my knife slipped on my finger. Anyway the guy gluing my finger back together told me he once accidentally glued himself to the patient.
I told him that sounds like a new fanfic genre and he heartedly agreed. He then proceeded to accidentally glue the rubber tourniquet to my finger
ALT
ALT
